Rav (corvid) wrote,

CLAMP - X 1999 - Yuuto Kigai

Not really the Yuuto of the manga or anything else - sort of a shadowed version.

Partially written for rackhamrose. Mostly rambling Yuuto talking about not dying.

Yuuto was once a priest. His mother had her marriage annulled, and feared for her soul. She was a devout Catholic and was determined that her children would be even more holy then herself. She told Yuuto that he was to pray for the souls in Purgatory. She said any time you're not dying, you should be thinking about the dead.

Sometimes he did what she said, and sometimes he just went off to teach his little sister how to swear and what a flower felt like. His little sister was blind. Yuuto's mother said it was a test from God.

None of the Kigai family was "normal" in the conventional sense. Many of them were water casters, and a family reunion was carefully planned to not be near lakes, fountains, or large bodies of water. The last thing you want is a bunch of bored children and a large body of water. It was bad enough what they could think up to do with a bathtub and a hotel room. Not to mention the fact that there was always a fight at a reunion. One year it was Yuuto versus a cousin of his, the next year it would be some aunt bickering with another.

That didn't matter though. He was once a priest. Now he wasn't. Simple as that.

Yuuto took a job in the government, smiled sweetly at the girls, and behaved like a perfect gentleman to them. And to men as well, but people didn't like to mention that. He had two regrets.

One was that no one loved him enough to want him to live. A pretty stupid sounding regret, but true. There was people who thought he was an ass. People who thought he was cute. People who thought he was a playboy. None of them stayed.

The second was that his mother asked him to not commit suicide. She had a space for him in the churchyard with her, and if he committed suicide he couldn't be buried on holy ground.

She didn't like it that he was so open about wanting to die.

Yuuto was perfectly aware that he was probably clinically depressed or whatever the term for it was. It wasn't like the world would miss one water caster out of a family that could argue about the components of salad. There was just one problem. He couldn't die by accident.

It wasn't that he didn't try. The most impressive attempt was the time he jumped off a bridge and woke up on the beach with a small child trying to build a sand castle around his foot.

So, he settled for being patient. After all, when 1999 rolled around, he'd die, one way or another. Sometimes he even prayed for the souls in Purgatory. After all, he was once a priest, and it wasn't like he didn't have the time.

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