Attempt One to Leash the Dog: Take leash. Have dog step on my foot. Reach for D-ring on collar. Get arm lightly bitten. Scold dog.
Attempt Two: Take leash. Pet dog's ears. Watch dog sit down. Reach for collar. Get sleeve bitten. Scold dog. Get arm lightly bitten.
Attempt Three: Have dog sit. Take collar. Find D-ring. Take leash. Get leash bitten and dog walking in circles to chase my hand. Dog whines.
Attempt Four: Take collar. Find D-ring. Take leash. Get hand lightly gnawed on. Scold dog. Dog bites at my shirt.
Attempt Five: Take collar. Take leash. Attempt to attach leash to collar. Dog lies down and tries to bite my sandels. Scold dog.
Dog did not get a walk.
In other news, it's 90 here. In the shade.